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A Secret Journal
A Secret Journal;
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Welcome to my blog! I pour my heart and thoughts here randomly~ Sooo, pardon my words anywaaayyss ^^

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A Secret Journal created in last September, and this blog started on April 3rd, 2010. Owner is myself ♥


Skins by Illi Shuhada
Re-design by VickyArl
© September 2014
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ME BACK! ♥

Heeyy guyss! I'm back for a longlonglong time I didn't appear  I have so maaannyy storiess to tell but yeah, I'm not sure if I will tell you all of them. All I know is, I'm so down right now   I need my old life. I did some mistakes. i just ended up with my boyfriend. that's was a terrible thing. he means everything to me  yepp, everything. the very first problem is, he doesn't like what he used to do when i'm cranky. on Saturday 13th Oct, berarti hari ini tepat 1 minggu sudah berlalu, last week, he's so freakin damn busy and i understand. when the night comes, biasanya sih dia tanya2 "ga kluar ta?" or "beb kluar yuk" or "beb ga kluar ya?" or anything else lah. but he didn't ask anything like that, after he helped his father, he just text me and ask "babe, can i go out to PTC?" like wtfff! i've been waiting you today for you to just take a break or rest so i can talk to you with a relaxed butt... and yeah, in that day i was so alone from 5pm 'til 11pm i guess. kinda homealone. i wanna tell him but akunya udah males, stidak nya dari dia sendiri gitu kek yang tanya ato setidak nya dia ga buat aku resentful ya I'll tell him. then he was angry when i said okay, take care he replied no! I'll stay at home yah gitu dah. i forgot what's happened after that, all i know we don't even chat or talk 'til nights. biasanya, kalo bbm cmn aku read, dia itu pingping ga jelas dan tanya aku kenapa. tapi kali ini engga  karena waktu itu akunya sebel and emosi, terucap sudah kata-kata kotor di status bbm. yang aslinya itu emosi juga perkara orang rumah lama pulangnyaa!! suasana bener-bener dah malem itu. and he knows i updated that dirty status, he ask what's happening babe? and i answered nothing dear he replied oh, okay just that? wtf?! lil bit broken for explain the real story here, mess inside  and  the thing that gets me more angrier is, when the next day is sunday means he accompany his dad to Malang for weddings. geez i was thinking, it's worst to see you're busy without remember me just for tell me what's happening. at 2pm if i'm not mistaken, he bbm me not sleep hun? but i was asleep. then i replied his bbm in the morning. but i forgot like wtf, i forgot what i bbm, i just remember he replied, i don't know dear *set the worried face in emoticon* i just read his bbm and wipe my blackberry. but when i wipe, he didn't invite me at all 'till now. on mon or tue or wed, i forgot, i text him, forget everything. forget anything. blahblah i also forgot what i texted HAHA cuz i already deleted the message. and again, he didn't replied at all. i was tired, but i still want to be with him even i'm tired, i'm bored, i almost die with him, i still want him to be by my side. what am i supposed to do if there's no more him in my life?  

ohkayy, day by day passed, we just like people who don't know each other at school. emang sih dia and I terkenal pasangan yang sering putus nyambung. tapi don't know why, aku ngerasa for this time we will never ever getting back together heard like song title btw haha ohkay. gabisa dipungkiri kalo, he means everything to me cuz everything he did to me. everything i do always reminds me of you. seriously i mean it. i have plan, the plan is, when he's not busy anymore, maybe in monday, i'll talk to him for the last time to make sure what he wants for our relationship. but, in last friday night, he caught me with my guy friend waktu mau nganter barang ke rumahnya si dia. ada urusan sama sisternya gitu. omg i don't know why when i found him, my heart just beats so damn fast and feel so guilty  but i try to face everything with a smile and no worries. geez, what should i do? i'm not strong enough to see him with another girl. but i'm sure, for sure, trully sure, start on monday i'll slowly die inside, i'll more messy, cuz maybe start on next monday, he will get revenge or maybe make me crumble, with every way, he'll messy me up. God, gimme more strenght. i'm scared to lose him. but the scariest thing is, if he don't love me anymore. God, just gimme strenght. gimme power. gimme energy. please. i beg you. believe it or not, i'm crying now. i mean, almost cry.  i can't imagine how i go through my days without you by my side. all the promises, will die. so do i.

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Free Time

Got this from here


WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. Last beverage : mineral water
2. Last phone call : my boyfriend
3. Last text message : my friend, yasinta
4. Last song you listened to : can't keep my hands off you - simple plan
5. Last time you cried : April 9th


HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice : never
7. Been cheated on :
8. Kissed someone & regretted it : nope
9. Lost someone special : maybe
10. Been depressed : yeah ofc
11. Been drunk and threw up : ever


LIST THREE FAVORITE COLOURS :
12. black
13. white
14. gray


THIS YEAR HAVE YOU : (2012)
15. Made a new friend : uh huh
17. Laughed until you *nearly* cried : yep
18. Met someone who changed you : yes
19. Found out who your true friends were : sadly, nope
20. Found out someone was talking about you : yes, currently
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list : noo
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life : 43% maybe
23. How many kids do you want to have : 2. boy first then girl
24. Do you have any pets : yep. dogs
25. Do you want to change your name : well honestly, sometimes
26. What did you do for your last birthday : forgot. home then mall maybe
27. What time did you wake up today : 6am
28. What were you doing at midnight last night : watching a movie (touching story)
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for : relaxing
30. Last time you saw your Mother : a few minutes ago
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life : a lot
32. What are you listening to right now : nothing
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom : no
34. What's getting on your nerves right now : everything
35. Most visited webpage : blog and 9gag
36. Whats your real name : Vicky Abriany Recytha Lembong
37. Nicknames : vicky
38. Relationship Status : taken
39. Zodiac sign? : libra
40. Male or female? : female
41. Elementary? : prefer not to answer
42. Middle School? : prefer not to answer
43. High school/college?: high school, Karitas 3
44. Hair colour : black maybe
45. Long or short: almost long
46. Height : forgot
47. Do you have a crush on someone? : yes
48: What do you like about yourself? : how i waste my time *backsong: lazy song*
49. Piercings : nope
50. Tattoos : nooo
51. Righty or lefty : -


FIRSTS :
52. First surgery : never
53. First piercing : newborn baby
54. First best friend : Bernike Gabriella
55. First sport you joined : basketball
56. First vacation : Manado
58. First pair of trainers : -


RIGHT NOW :
59. Eating : no
60. Drinking : no, but i'm going to get some drinks after this
61. Doing : typing
62. Listening to : i think you've asked bro
63. Waiting on : tomorrow


YOUR FUTURE :
64. Want kids? : yeah
65. Get Married? : ofcourse
66. Career? : for now, i still dk. a party planner maybe?


WHICH IS BETTER :
67. Lips or eyes : lips
68. Hugs or kisses : both
69. Shorter or taller : taller ofc
70. Older or Younger : older
71. Romantic or spontaneous : spontaneously romantic
72. Nice stomach or nice arms : both
73. Sensitive or loud : loud
74. Hook-up or relationship : relationship ofc
75. Trouble maker or hesitant : hesitant


HAVE YOU EVER :
76. Kissed a stranger : no and never
77. Drank hard liquor : never
78. Lost glasses/contacts : nope
79. Sex on first date : oh no, never
82. Been arrested : nope
83. Turned someone down : ever and almost always
84. Cried when someone died : never. just feelin' lost and sad
85. Fallen for a friend? : no


DO YOU BELIEVE IN :
86. Yourself : ofcourse
87. Miracles : yes, in God
88. Love at first sight : yes sometimes
89. Heaven : sure
90. Santa Claus : never
91. Kiss on the first date : nope
92. Angels : yeah o:)


ANSWER TRUTHFULLY :
94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time : well yeaa haha
95. Did you sing today? : no i think
96. Ever cheated on somebody? : yep
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go? : when i was a lil young kid
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be? : dunno
99. Are you afraid of falling in love? : no more
100. Posting this as 100 truths? : done

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